Seriously, there is a lot to do. Cleaning veggies, juicing veggies, preparing meals, cleaning the kitchen because there is carrot all over the place, coffee enemas (wow), regular CF treatments, exercise... Juicing enough for juice every hour on the hour....
I'm about to lose my mind. Click on the link to see how I really feel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCoD-TELD0A
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
This morning when I woke up, I walked slowly into the kitchen. My sweet hubby had already gone to work and I was lazy and lamenting my "new lifestyle." The Gerson Diet is a nutritional based therapy that requires 13 fresh pressed juices (every hour on the hour), four to five coffee enemas a day, too many supplements to mention right this second, no salt or any kind of seasoning except for a few herbs, and, of course, a vegetarian diet. I looked at my watch and realized I was already an hour late in having my first juice.
As I opened up the blinds in the kitchen, a moth came fluttering out of the window and did a kamakazi dive right at me. I jumped back, cursed (please, I'm working on it), then gathered myself and immediately tried to catch the little bugger. We knew each other, this moth and I, because I had tried to catch him the night before, but he was flying around too wildly. He was going nuts with the kitchen lights on, so I turned them off and he immediately flew to the window to get a glimps at the outside lights. He kept bouncing off the glass trying to escape. Annie, the schnauzer-person, sat watching the whole thing unfold, waiting for her shot at the title.... After several failed attempts, I closed the shutter and hoped that he would make it until morning.
What you need to know about me is I HATE to kill things. While I do kill flies, and always a roach, I have a hard time with things like bees, moths, and other little friendly critters. If I were a busy person with kids and carpool and a job, I'm sure I wouldn't give it a second thought. But, God gave me CF and with it come a few perks:) If it takes me five minutes, I will allow myself time to help this moth out of my kitchen, besides, it keeps me from the breathing treatment, juice, insulin, breakfast, coffee enema that are in my near rear future.
Back to the moth. I tried several times to capture him with my hands, but each time he wiggled out or I caved because I didn't want to crush him. Then, he dove into the mason jars I am using for the juicing; perfect, but then right as I covered it, he flew out. So, I said a prayer. I know it sounds goofy to say a prayer about a moth, but I did.
Simple. Dear God, please help this little guy quit squirming so I can catch him and get him out of here. Amen.
Seriously, doesn't he know that if he would just be still, I would save him and let him live out his final hours in the backyard!
Of course, at that moment, the little guy just stopped. I covered both hands over him and carefully carried him to the back yard. As I let him go, I told him, "See!" (Because talking to a moth is just normal over here at my casa). In his little moth brain he couldn't get that I was just trying to help...I wanted to save him from the certain death that would have been Anniedog's jowls in the kitchen.
As he flew off, I had that sudden moment of stillness when I knew that God was talking to me. "Be still and know that I am God." There it was; that verse that came to my mind because I took the extra second to help the moth.
I am a CONTROL FREAK. I want to control everything and when you have an illness, that whole control problem can really begin to play with your mind. Sometimes I feel like a moth bouncing around lights hitting my head over and over again. My controlling nature makes me think I actually have some control over my life, over cystic fibrosis... I'm sure God looks at me and thinks, dear girl, if you would just stop squirming, I would be able to help you....You would be able to hear me. You would have peace.
But, so often, I just won't have it. I'm in a hurry trying to do all the things that keep me somewhat healthy, so I can't just be still. And then, the moth :)
Thank you, God, that you gave me that moment... I have thought about it all day. I"m the moth to the flame and my flames are the things that keep me bouncing around all day...exhausting myself pulling away from you. When really, you are the only light. I want the peace and love that you offer. I want to come in from the cold and feel your warmth. I want your healing. Please help me be still so I can feel you.
As I opened up the blinds in the kitchen, a moth came fluttering out of the window and did a kamakazi dive right at me. I jumped back, cursed (please, I'm working on it), then gathered myself and immediately tried to catch the little bugger. We knew each other, this moth and I, because I had tried to catch him the night before, but he was flying around too wildly. He was going nuts with the kitchen lights on, so I turned them off and he immediately flew to the window to get a glimps at the outside lights. He kept bouncing off the glass trying to escape. Annie, the schnauzer-person, sat watching the whole thing unfold, waiting for her shot at the title.... After several failed attempts, I closed the shutter and hoped that he would make it until morning.
What you need to know about me is I HATE to kill things. While I do kill flies, and always a roach, I have a hard time with things like bees, moths, and other little friendly critters. If I were a busy person with kids and carpool and a job, I'm sure I wouldn't give it a second thought. But, God gave me CF and with it come a few perks:) If it takes me five minutes, I will allow myself time to help this moth out of my kitchen, besides, it keeps me from the breathing treatment, juice, insulin, breakfast, coffee enema that are in my near rear future.
Back to the moth. I tried several times to capture him with my hands, but each time he wiggled out or I caved because I didn't want to crush him. Then, he dove into the mason jars I am using for the juicing; perfect, but then right as I covered it, he flew out. So, I said a prayer. I know it sounds goofy to say a prayer about a moth, but I did.
Simple. Dear God, please help this little guy quit squirming so I can catch him and get him out of here. Amen.
Seriously, doesn't he know that if he would just be still, I would save him and let him live out his final hours in the backyard!
Of course, at that moment, the little guy just stopped. I covered both hands over him and carefully carried him to the back yard. As I let him go, I told him, "See!" (Because talking to a moth is just normal over here at my casa). In his little moth brain he couldn't get that I was just trying to help...I wanted to save him from the certain death that would have been Anniedog's jowls in the kitchen.
As he flew off, I had that sudden moment of stillness when I knew that God was talking to me. "Be still and know that I am God." There it was; that verse that came to my mind because I took the extra second to help the moth.
I am a CONTROL FREAK. I want to control everything and when you have an illness, that whole control problem can really begin to play with your mind. Sometimes I feel like a moth bouncing around lights hitting my head over and over again. My controlling nature makes me think I actually have some control over my life, over cystic fibrosis... I'm sure God looks at me and thinks, dear girl, if you would just stop squirming, I would be able to help you....You would be able to hear me. You would have peace.
But, so often, I just won't have it. I'm in a hurry trying to do all the things that keep me somewhat healthy, so I can't just be still. And then, the moth :)
Thank you, God, that you gave me that moment... I have thought about it all day. I"m the moth to the flame and my flames are the things that keep me bouncing around all day...exhausting myself pulling away from you. When really, you are the only light. I want the peace and love that you offer. I want to come in from the cold and feel your warmth. I want your healing. Please help me be still so I can feel you.
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